Almost There!

Manisha had loved Aadi, why did he die, could she now marry Bhakati, as her parents wanted?

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As she stood there watching the panoramic view of the city from the topmost level of The Eiffel Tower, she realized that the air around her hadn’t felt so fresh in years. ‘Moni’, said Bhakati, gently holding her hand. She stood there astonished. She hadn’t heard anyone call her by that name after Aadi. ‘Moni, I have known you for close to a year now. We have spent so many memorable moments together, moments that have become an important part of my life, moments that will never be washed off my mind, moments like this one here, now, this moment, that drives me to ask you…will you marry me? I…I….do not expect you to answer that right away. You can take your time. But I want you to know that I am in love with you and wish to spend the rest of my life with you by my side.’ Manisha had seen this coming. Then why did she feel so lost all of a sudden? Perhaps, because she didn’t know it would happen so soon. Since she had seen it coming, Manisha wanted to have her moment of closure with Bhakati, but he had popped the question before she could bring out this topic.

‘Bhakati, before I tell you what I feel, there is something that I want you to know.’

‘I know that it is about Aadi. I know about what happened in your life before I stepped in. Roshni aunty had told me all about it.’ Manisha stood there lost for words. She had met Bhakati only when she came to Paris about a year back. How then did he know her mother? Where had he met her? What had she told him about Aadi? As Manisha stood there shocked. Bhakati continued, ‘I wonder if you remember, just before you left for Paris in May last year, your mother had tried to talk you into considering marriage. You had apparently stormed out without replying. That is when your mother called me up and asked me to meet her. She told me how you had fallen in love with Aadi while you were studying at Delhi University, how you went on to marry him against your parents wishes, about how it almost led to breaking of your ties with your family, Aadi’s accident while driving under the influence of alcohol, how he succumbed to death after a week in coma, your miscarriage because of all the stress you had undergone in that 6 months of your marriage with Aadi, everything Moni, your mother told me everything! I had just seen your picture back then and I knew there was something that was drawing me towards you, fate perhaps. Our parents were already talking about our marriage back then. But when your mother realized that there is not going to be any effort from your end, she requested me to try and talk to you without disclosing any of this to my parents and the only way I could do this was by getting to know you as a stranger. I decided to take a sabbatical from my job there and pursue this. That’s the reason why we are classmates here.’

Manisha was shocked beyond words. But, she was also relieved to know that Bhakati knew about her past and still wanted to marry her. She was overwhelmed. ‘Bhakati, from the time I’ve known you, I have been in denial. I realize all that happiness you brought into my life with your genuinely charming ways, your mannerisms which illuminated all the moments spent with you, the void I felt when you’d drop me back to my place and go your way everyday, all that was for real. I was in denial because I thought I hadn’t gotten over what had happened in the past, because I felt no one would accept me with my baggage, but I feel so much more better now to know that you are aware of it and still want to take this bonding between us further. But Bhakati…’ As she said this, she dialed her mothers number on her mobile phone.

‘To be continued….’ Is what appeared on the TV screen with an over-dramatic loud music playing in the background. ‘Damn these TV wallahs, I tell you. Ain wakt pe episode rok dete hain (End the episode in the most intense of moments). Manisha had loved Aadi, why did he die, could she now marry Bhakati, as her parents wanted?And why is Bhakati being so good to her? Wonder what ulterior motives he has!’ Vidya thought aloud. ‘Ayeji, don’t you think these serials should be aired for an hour each day?’ she asked turning to her husband, who had just then entered the living room to pick a book from the ridge. She was hooked to the mid-noon drama series like a lot of other soap-loving Indian housewives. ‘Vidya! For heaven’s sake, get over it! Its just a TV serial!’ shouted Bharath, her workaholic husband. ‘Why don’t you get yourself involved in more productive activities. Hit the gym, go to the library, learn a new instrument, a new sport, cultivate a new hobby. These mid-morning soaps have just become a way of life for you and it annoys me when you actually get so involved in the story.’

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This story has been written by me (ANU) for the Tuesday Morning Writings Project sponsored by Judy Harper and Gaelikaa. It is inspired from Elizabeth Harper’s Tell Me A Story Tuesdays (TMAST) Project. Tuesday Morning Writings is a creative writing/ short story writing project. Under this project one is required to write a short story every Tuesday, including the image and caption chosen for that particular week, in the story at the appropriate place.

The pictures and topics to be chosen for this Tuesday(1st Dec ‘09) found in Judy Harper’s Blog and were suggested by Judy Harper herself.
Image is a copyright of iStock. The topic sentence is by Judy Harper. The words are copyright of Anu.

Judy Harpers story can be read here. Gaelikaa’s story can be found here. You can read Melroxx’s story here.

Hope you enjoy reading this post. Your comments and suggestions are welcome.

4 Wives…

Heres a story I came across.

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He’s very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant’s confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant’s 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, “Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I’ll be alone. How lonely I’ll be!”

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, “I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” “No way!” replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant’s heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, “I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” “No!” replied the 3rd wife. “Life is so good over here! I’m going to remarry when you die!” The merchant’s heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, “I always turned to you for help and you’ve always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?” “I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this time!” replied the 2nd wife. “At the very most, I can only send you to your grave.” The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : “I’ll leave with you. I’ll follow you no matter where you go.” The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, “I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !”

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives

a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it’ll leave us when we die.

b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we’re alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

~Human Facade~

…’when a horseman falls off his horse…if he does not remount immediately, he will never have the courage to do so again’… says Paulo Coelho in his blog! I write this post dedicated to all those people who were, those who are, those who will always be a part of my life, who’ve shaped my thoughts, been a memorable part of my life and conditioned the way I look at people and things -with a fresh perspective!

The magnanimity of human self fascinates me. According to the Bhagwad Gita, there are three constituents in man: the mind(Manasa), the power of speech(Vacha/Vaak) and the body(Karmana). These three are called Thrikaranas-the three active agencies in man. While the mention of this in Gita actually implies purity of thoughts, words and actions in a more spiritual sense, I’m going to deal with these in the context of congruency-not of triangles, but of these constituents in an individual.

The idea for this came about as a passing thought-a thought about how often people think something, say something else and do something entirely different! There are two reasons why they would do this-one, they are plain confused and second, they enjoy putting up a façade. While the first section of people just need some counseling the second set need to get their act right, get to being a little more realistic, a little more of themselves. It leaves me flabbergasted when I think about how very rarely I’ve come across people who think, say and do exactly the same. Must require a lot of mental strength, I must think.

Why? Who do people wear these masks? Why would you want to think, say and act like three different people? Incongruity, fear of people, fear of relationships, fear of rejection, hiding ones weakness(es), insecurity, manipulative behavior- why? They’d indeed make interesting subjects for psychologists. I wonder what it feels like to delve deep into the mind of such subjects given all the complications it poses! Matt Damons character (Tom Ripley) has a dialogue in the movie ‘The Talented Mr. Ripley’ has a line which goes something like this, ‘I always thought it’d be better to be a fake somebody than a real nobody’. Does this really work? Do people really enjoy living someone else’s life, assuming someone else’s identity? As a short adventure-probably yes, but wouldn’t you get tired if you tried thinking, talking and acting like someone else, wearing the invisible mask for a long long time. Is it mentally taxing-I mean being someone else?

Carl Rogers, an influential American psychologist and the person who founded the humanistic approach to psychology, talks about this incongruity between the ‘Ideal self’ and ‘true self’. We all have our perception of our ideal self – how I would like to be. But most of the times thoughts like ‘I am not that’ or ‘I do not possess the qualities that others look upon as ideal’ creep into our heads. Hence the façade-a façade to people around them, a façade to themselves, a façade to their own conscience!

According to Carl Rogers, the Self Concept is, ‘ … the organized consistent conceptual gestalt composed of perceptions of the characteristics of ‘I’ or ‘me’ and the perceptions of the relationships of the ‘I’ or ‘me’ to others and to various aspects of life, together with the values attached to these perceptions. It is a gestalt which is available to awareness though not necessarily in awareness. It is a fluid and changing gestalt, a process, but at any given moment it is a specific entity.’

In the development of the self concept he saw conditional and unconditional positive regard as key. Those raised in an environment of unconditional positive regard have the opportunity to fully actualize themselves. Those raised in an environment of conditional positive regard only feel worthy if they match conditions (what Rogers describes as conditions of worth) that have been laid down by others.

Over a period of time though, people get burdened by the façade and if their assumed identities are not curbed, there are chances, it could lead them into an emotional outburst. I can vouch for a fact that these are the unhappy lot-unhappy with themselves, unhappy with what they have, unhappy with what they are faced. It requires as much mental strength, if not more to align your thoughts, words and actions as much to nonalign them! Most people tend to live their lives not the way they want to, but they way they think others want them to, in accordance with the society’s perception of what the ‘ideal’ is! They are scared to break the norms, swim against the tide, because they fear the consequences which invariably is the fear of rejection by the society. As complicated and ghastly as it may sound, but people do not mind the inconvenience they call upon themselves to adhere to the image of the society’s ‘ideal’, for they think this is not even close to the discomfort it would cause when they go against what most others think. Like Carl Rogers says, to a large extent it is a result of our upbringing. The people around us make up the society and the society conditions the way we think, speak and act! From a very early age we are told what is perceived as right and what is not. This gives one very little chance and is also supposed to give us very little reason to make mistakes, let alone learn from them.

Questioning the ultimate authority is disrespectful. Its always about ‘What will people think?’, ‘what will people say?’. Heck, who cares. I still do what I want. I do not give a hoot if someone doesn’t like they way I act. They are entitled to their opinion and I to mine. I certainly would not try and mould myself to a kind of person someone else wants me to be however close I am to them. Take it or leave it-its upto them thereon. Most parents do not realize the kind of person they are shaping their kids into when they feed these kind of obnoxious questions into their kids. Kids are like clay, they mould the way you shape them. These kind of questions condition the kids to think that they are always bound to act the way others would want them to. Why don’t you just let them be?They will figure it out and fend for themselves. One thing I’ve realized about myself, over the years, on evaluating the pattern of events in my life is that, the more I am asked not to attempt something, the more the rebel in me wants to rise. And when I am left on my own, I have this sense of responsibility towards myself that tells me to constantly strive to be better, to work towards improving myself.

Being yourself in such a disoriented atmosphere is not easy, but it surely isn’t impossible. Nonetheless, it requires constant and sincere effort, but is certainly is worth all the investment. So, good luck with your alignment efforts!

Signing off,

Striving-Hard-To-Be-Aligned.

Memories…

“Memories pressed between the pages of my mind
Memories sweetened thru the ages, just like wine”.

Brainstorming sessions- Final Destination(late night show)- Just Bake-Cream and Fudge Factory-Veena Stores-Raghavendra Stores-Food Camp-Aanand-Cane Crush-Pecos- CCD-Play rehearsals-late night ‘Wine and dine’ sessions-Ooty Chocolates-date to a Debate competition on ‘World’ Elders Day’- Diwali-Cadbury celebrations-Terrace- ‘Fireworks’-Dasvidaniya-Volvo ride-airport-sparrow-endless talks-endless aawing-endless grins-endless memories!

Nostalgia :)

MILE SUR MERA TUMHARA

Mile sur mera tumharaa, To sur bane hamaraa….
Sur kee nadhiyaan
Har disha se
Behkee saagar mein milee.
Baadalon ka roop leker
Barse halke halke…
Mile sur mera tumharaa.. to… sur bane
hamaara.. Mile sur mera tumhara…

Chaain taraj tahin nyay taraj
ek but baniye saayen taraj

Tera sur mile mere sur de naal
milke bane ek nava surtaal
Mile sur mera tumharaa….to sur bane hamaara..

Mohnja sur tohi desa pyara mile jadein geet ashaanjo madhur tarano
bane tadein
Sur ka dariya bahte saagar me mile badlaan da roop leike barasan
holle haule

Isaindhal namm iruvarin suramum namadhakum..
Dhisai veru aanalum aazi ser aarugal
Mugilai mazaiyai pozivadu pol isai …
Nammisai….
Thik thakida thathikakidA….thaka thimi thaka junu

Nanna dhwanige ninna dhwani-ya, seridante namma dhwaniya..

Naa swaramu nee swaramu sangammamai, mana swaram ga avatarinchey

Ninde swaramum ningalude swaramum otthucheiyum Namudeya swaramai….

Tomaar shoor moder shoor srishti koroor koi ekshoor[2]…
Sriishti karoon woi katha

Toma mora swarer milan srishti kare chalbochatano

Malo sur jo taro maro, bane aapno sur niralo

Majhya tumchya julta tara madhur suranchya barasti dhara

Sur ki nadiya har disha se behke saagar mein mile…
Baadlo ka roop leke barse halke halke..
Oh…Mile sur mera tumhara tho….sur bane hamara…

Mile Sur mera tumhara
tho sur bane hamara tho sur bane hamara
tho sur bane hamara

HUMARA BAJAJ AD

JUNGLE BOOK TITLE SONG

Gags 1! :D

Received this in the mail today, thought I’d share it!

A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot..
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
‘Why so less for such a beautiful parrot?’ she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said,
‘Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live at a brothel earlier and sometimes it says some inappropriate stuff.’
The woman thought about this, but decided she wanted to have the bird any way.
She took it home and hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, ‘New house, New madam.’
The woman was a bit taken back at the implication, but then thought ‘that’s really not so bad.’
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw and said, ‘New house, New madam, New girls.’
The girls and the woman were offended at first but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman’s husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said,

‘Hi, Keith!’