Labeled for Life

A person who commits a mistake which is legally unacceptable is a criminal, a mentally ill person is someone who has his own idea of what is right or wrong, an unruly child is the one who doesn’t listen to, understand or follow instructions that you give, a stubborn person is the one who refuses to budge from what he believes in, a widow is a lady who has lost her spouse and a divorcee, someone who has legally separated from his/her spouse. 

Ever stopped to think how we have a label for everyone around us?  Oscar Wilde said, “To define, is to limit” and labelling is close to defining. Do we have the right to limit anyone? THINK. Experiences make people, so why attach these stigmatizing labels?!

Will we ever get to that point when we stop attaching labels to people and accept them for what they are? I came across something that Eckhart Tolle, a German author said in his book A New Earth: “The quicker you are in attaching verbal or mental labels to things, people, or situations, the more shallow and lifeless your reality becomes, and the more deadened you become to reality, the miracle of life that continuously unfolds within and around you.” How true!

Can we, for once, try and not label people and make an attempt to know and understand them for what they are? Labels are for things, people deserve more respect!

My First Memory

This is my post as a part of the Loose Bloggers Consortium(LBC), an informal group of bloggers from different parts of the world who blog each Friday on one common topic posted by 7:00 AM PST(8.30 PM IST). Do visit their blogs to read what the other members of the consortium have posted on this week’s topic. The members in alphabetical order are: Anu-Me, Delirious, Gaelikaa, Grannymar, Maxi, Maria-Silver Fox, OCD Writer, Padmum, Paul, Rummuser, The Old Fossil and Will.

Today’s topic- My First Memory is The Old Fossil‘s suggestion.

On a pleasant spring afternoon, I was taking a walk down Carlos Park. It was one of those days when I was not feeling particularly low, but I wasn’t very happy either. I had just grabbed myself a coleslaw sandwich and a cup of cappuccino and set out for a walk to avoid the cafeteria gossip, after a rather long and tiring surgery. I’m not particularly fond of a team lunch. I prefer a silent one, one where I’m left with my food and my thoughts. I’ve had a lot of people rolling their eyes when I decline their invite to lunch with them, and more so because of the reason.

It had been two years since I joined The Holmer Memorial Hospital and Medical College as an intern. I was looked at as a loner and all my colleagues were mere acquaintances and not friends. I had always maintained it that way. Having friends would mean after-work outings, parties, meaningless celebrations, more time spent with them than required leading to bonds being formed. I couldn’t fathom the idea. I had consciously avoided company of any kind since the time Joanna called off our relationship of four years, back in college. Relationships of any kind, looked like an ordeal. I had lost my parents to a road accident and now I’d lost the person who I loved the most, after them. You get the background now, don’t you?

So, coming back to my walk in the park on that pleasant spring afternoon. I was still wondering how things would have been so different, had Joanna still been around. Well, it is something I thought about everyday. But, I was over her. I was in a space where I couldn’t accept Joanna, if she were to come back into my life, ever, but still unsure of whether I could ever form a bond of that sort again, with anyone at all!

I was staring into infinity when a slender figure caught my attention. We were walking towards each other. She seemed to have been looking for me and was relieved to have spotted me. As we drew closer, she hastened, almost running. “Dr. James, you have the key to my locker! I think you picked it up in error while ordering your burger at the cafeteria. I found yours at the counter and recognized it with that Che keychain that you had attached to it. I remember admiring it while you were trying hard to open your jammed locker, last week!”. There was something about her that took my breath away. I didn’t get the chance to respond. She exchanged the keys and ran as if in a great hurry.

That was my first memory of my first meeting with Dr.Marissa. We’ve been dating for over a year now and we’re engaged to be married in the next three months. I’ve never felt more content. It’s a giant leap forward. That spring afternoon has left me with a pleasant first memory for many more summers ahead of me.

I still prefer silent lunches.

Dark

This is my post as a part of the Loose Bloggers Consortium(LBC), an informal group of bloggers from different parts of the world who blog each Friday on one common topic posted by 7:00 AM PST(8.30 PM IST). Do visit their blogs to read what the other members of the consortium have posted on this week’s topic. The members in alphabetical order are: Anu-Me, Delirious, Gaelikaa, Grannymar, Maxi, Maria-Silver Fox, OCD Writer, Padmum, Paul, Rummuser, The Old Fossil and Will.

Today’s topic- ‘Dark’ is Will Knott‘s suggestion.

The Dark and the light are a part of us; they are within us. Our thoughts, our virtues and our deeds can either be dark or something that spreads light in other people’s lives. Anger, jealousy, the feeling of vengeance and destruction can all be dark emotions if we do not make a conscious effort to understand that apart from harming others, they also bruise our soul!

One cannot deny the existence of the ‘dark’ emotions, for they are what make us human. It is important to acknowledge their role in our growth as a person. One needs to accept that these emotions, however negative, are a part of us and hence, should never be suppressed. Acceptance of these emotions and the conscious effort to channelize them in an outcome that leads to greater good is what makes us better human beings.

I personally have been situations where I was angry or even jealous. I, however, do not regret what I did, because at that point in time it seemed right. But then again, you think very little when you are overwhelmed by an emotion, don’t you? What I’ve learnt is that these emotions make us feel as alive as any other pleasant feeling. I pride myself in the fact that when a dark emotion takes over, I have been able to have rational conversations with myself, if not with anyone else. Sometimes, the conversations have helped and oftentimes, they’ve not. It is then that you feel the need to lash out on someone and it is important that we do, because a suppressed emotion multiplies manifold and causes greater harm!

The English Translation of a famous Hebrew phrase says, “Let there be light!” and that is exactly what I wish for all of you as well! Have a wonderful weekend ahead! =)

May 14th, 2012

I still maintain that its not people, its our expectations that screw us over! But whats life without them? People and expectations!

As a part of many social groups, we interact and share experiences with many people and play a part-small or big, in their journey of self-realization. However, there are certain journeys where we assume our level of importance to an extent where that journey becomes a part of our life. That’s when we form emotional bonds at different levels.

All relationships, especially the ones which involves two people coming together, to evolve and walk together, require humongous efforts from each person involved, to sustain. It requires each person to be there to experience and accept the good, bad and ugly side of the other person and also the happy moments and tumultuous ones with open arms. Its a choice you make not a chance you take! And if the choice is made, there is no looking back. But we are talking about ‘ideal’ situation here and ideal is close to non-existent! In marriages, while the pressure to put in efforts to sustain the relationship is much higher, the pressure, while existent is comparatively lower in a relationship where a ‘legal’ bond is not involved.

I don’t even know where I’m heading with this post. Mental Diarrhoea does that to you, I guess! =/

Of Acceptance

We all live in hope, don’t we? In the hope for a better tomorrow or in the hope that things always stay the same as they are. Just when you think you’ve figured it all out, someone sitting high up there deals a blow to your head, strong enough to remind you of the unpredictable nature of life.

Situations change, people change, priorities change and lives change! But you always believe that there is that one constant around which your variables revolve. Which might or might not change. But what happens when the constant in your life shifts roles to be the constant in a different capacity(Wonder if that even makes sense)? Acceptance doesn’t come easy.

There are a gazillion questions plaguing my head and a constant thought that tells me that I probably don’t deserve all things that constitute what happiness is! Karma? May be. Victim of the circumstance? May be. Difficult to conclude. I’ve come to realize that if things continue to be the way they are now, there will be that one void in my life which will never be filled, NEVER! Rather, I wouldn’t want it to!

Heck, I thought I was strong, VERY strong. Turns out I don’t know myself at all. Sometimes the same things that are your strength are also your weaknesses!

I wish I could wake up to realize that all that happened was a nightmare! I wish…..

Listen…

This is my post as a part of the Loose Bloggers Consortium(LBC), an informal group of bloggers from different parts of the world who blog each Friday on one common topic posted by 7:00 AM PST(8.30 PM IST). You can check out what the other members of the consortium have posted on this week’s topic. The members in alphabetical order are: AKANKSHA (Anki), Me-Anu, ASHOK, CONRAD, DELIRIOUS, GAELIKAA, GRANNYMAR, MAGPIE 11, MARIA, PADMUM, the GOM of LBC, RAMANA SIR and Will Knott .

Caution: The below piece was not written with the intention of bringing out the writer’s (lacking) poetic expertise or captivating writing. It was just meant to be just a product of random thoughts.

This piece is more a list of the notes that bring a smile to my face. Writing it gave me an opportunity to relive memories, beautiful memories =)

I want to listen…
To the sound of fireworks
To the sound of nervous breaths
To the sound of hearts beating
To the sound of kissing lips.

To the sound of happy smiles
To the tears of over-whelm
To the sound of joyous thoughts
To the naïve excitement.

To the chirping birds
To the flowing river
To the whooshing wind
To the silent woods.

To the laughter of a kid
To the clinking of glasses
To the guitar strings
To the song of love.

What I’m missing out on really, is listening to me. =)

Sketches

Here are two women who’s beauty inspired me to sketch them. Next in line is Mother Teresa and Natalie Portman.

I like the Audrey one better than the Monroe sketch. The Monroe sketch has a lot of flaws in it which need to be corrected. You can click on the images to view a larger picture.